When To Stop Asking Why


“Know your WHY.” You hear myself and other leaders say it all of the time.

I encourage you to know your purpose behind doing whatever it is you’re currently doing. Before any event, important day or training session, I suggest you run through a few key reminders why it matters to you, why you want to give it your best and why you want to accomplish your goals.

The stronger your why, the stronger your will. The more connected you are with your purpose for doing something, the more likely you’ll pursue excellence in it. Your why matters.

But, there are also times when asking “why” is a flat-out waste of time. Searching for answers as to “why” something occurred can be a huge distraction, it can send you into a rut and it can paralyze to a point where you become inactive.

See continuing to ask yourself WHY you’re pursuing what you’re pursing is incredibly valuable.

But, continuing to search for why something has occurred (and beating yourself up over it, or staying down for wayyyy too long because you don’t understand how it’s possible) is not helpful.

Sometimes there aren’t clear answers for things events that happen. You get injured or sick. A loved one gets cancer. Someone says something terribly hurtful. You have to deal with something that your friends don’t. Something happens in your life that shocks the hell out of you. Of course you’ll want to investigate the situation and try to understand it as best as you can to see if there are any ways to mitigate the pain or learn anything. Then, it’s probably best to ACCEPT it for what it is currently (that means it can change) and look for ways you can be proactive with what you’re given.

Crazy shit happens. People do fucked up things. Unfortunate, terrible trauma is real and totally sucks. But, is it healthy for you to continue down the path of “why, why, why, why, why, why, why….?” Or, is it better for you to talk it out, pray, help whoever you can, get busy living the best life possible with whatever capabilities you do have, speak up, get away, cry it out, hug your loved ones, journal, share, get help, improve your health, and continue to look for ways to do great things in spite of whatever is going on?

Know your purpose and remind yourself of your WHY throughout your day. Let go of the pursuit of WHY when it’s only making you feel more confused, down, upset, frustrated, anxious or helpless.You might not be able to change the situation, therefore you can only change your response to it.

  •  Remote coaching for anyone looking to improve: email dawn@drivenmindtraining.com for your free assessment

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I’m Dawn Fletcher, the owner of Driven Mind. I help driven-individuals perform better and achieve greatness in all that they do.

Reader Interactions


  1. Kris says

    Why and why me don’t help. I say why me all the time, due to injuries, surgeries, and a body that is aging faster than my mind. It sucks, but asking why doesn’t turn back the clock or fix my problems. But it is hard to find peace. Oh well.

  2. drewbrazier says

    Great post! As a health and trauma psychologist I find it very helpful to help guide people to accepting the current situation. The “why” trap can lead to more and more fumbling around with not specific direction.

  3. Ellie says

    I totally agree with this. I can find myself getting stuck in overthinking things and looking for too much meaning in everything. It’s a good reminder to find the balance in your WHY and just crazily being stuck in the WHY’s in your head 🙂

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